Starving for Love

I was reading through my recovery journals and I came across this article that I had penned in my journal. I can’t remember where I got it, but I love it just as much now as I did then.  Enjoy!


Starving for Love, by Nina Savelle-Rocklin LMFT

Disordered eating can be an expression of an internal conflict about needs. We all have basic needs for love, attention, comfort and so forth. If those needs are not met, or not consistently met, people feel humiliated about having needs. That’s when “needs” are seen as “neediness” and experienced as something negative, to be avoided.

Those struggling with anorexia resolve this conflict by restricting food and often relationships. The unconscious thought is: “I don’t need anything, not food, and not friends.”

Men and women dealing with binge eating disorder resolve this conflict by attaching all their needs to food. They unconsciously believe: “People can’t be trusted to meet my needs consistently so I will always have a relationship with food, which is always available, always consistent, and fills up my internal emptiness.”

People struggling with bulimia combine the two strategies by expressing their needs by bingeing, and then purging their perceived neediness. Their unconscious thought: “I need so much, so I will binge. But I hate that I have needs, so I will purge.”

What do you need more of in your life? In what areas do you feel deprived? What’s it like to think about your own wants and needs?

When you can change you relationship to yourself, you relationship with food will change too!


Peace and Namaste


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