Without a doubt, the hardest thing about recovery is eating. Well learning to be self-confident and love your self is hard, but eating is tough. Especially when you have had a rough day and the LAST thing you want to do is sit down to a meal. Yet, at the same time it is a sign of progress when you say,”I had a rough day” or “It has been stressful”…”but I ate.”
I find myself saying that A LOT! In therapy I say,”It has be a rough few days but, I keep eating meals.” Even if it isn’t a meal, but a snack or something to put in my stomach I am doing recovery work. For some odd reason by saying that, and not restricting, it makes me feel as if I am not relapsing. I may be not so strong in other areas but I am not coping with food restriction.
I have also discovered in my two years of ED recovery that actually my mood, stress level, and Melvin talk, increases when I don’t eat. I feel WORSE! Restricting doesn’t make me feel good or in control (what lies the ED, in my case, Melvin, tells us!). It makes me insane like streaking around a heavily congested area and then free jump off a cliff or it makes me like a bull running wild.
So eating is very important. The food will fuel our brains to help us see past the insanity and give us strength to fuel the fight against our ED. And hopefully the food we choose to eat will taste good in the process so we can eat mindfully and enjoy each and every morsel.
If you are going through a tough day, a rough patch, or feeling like you need to restrict and it is meal time…don’t give in. Find your favorite food, or even a safe food, sit down and eat. You will be glad you did (honestly you will, even if your ED won’t be).