Step 1

Yamas, Niyamas, and the 12 Steps

For yoga teacher training we had to write a research paper. I really wanted my paper to be a reflection of what myself and where I want to take yoga. I want to take yoga in the theraupetic route, helping those with ED’s, mental illness, and other addictions overcome their mountain. As we studied two of the eight limbs of yoga: yamas and niyamas, I realized how similar they are to the 12 Steps. I use the 12 Steps as much as I can and I was starting to incorporate the yamas and niyamas in my life, I realized that they can be a great tool for those in recovery. This is how I got the idea for my research paper. My paper is a brief overview of a bigger topic and hopefully one day I can dive deeper and expand on this topic.

~~~~

“To the pure of heart comes also a quiet spirit, one-pointed thought, the victory over sensuality, and fitness to behold the soul.” Yoga Sutras II.41

 

Patanjali encompassed the essence of self-realization, self discovery, and the journey of a recovered life in this sutra. That particular sutra can be about embarking on the yoga journey or a journey of a recovered life from codependency, eating disorders, addictions, or unhealthy behaviors. Yoga can be used in combination with the 12 Steps to help a person who is recovery to become the best version of themselves. Though some people may think that the 12 Steps are unrelated to yoga, they would think otherwise after reviewing the two limbs of yoga outlined by Patanjali: the Yamas (moral disciplines) and Niyamas (moral guidelines). Even after review, the similarities between the yamas and niyamas and the 12 steps are apparent. The two limbs and the 12 Steps can help complement each other and together help an individual on their recovery journey.

The 12 Steps were written by Bill Wilson, a prominent businessman and alcoholic, who also founded Alcoholics Anonymous in the 1930s. In 1938, his teachings and the 12 Steps were published in what is known as the Big Book (www.12step.com). The steps are faith based, meaning that they use spiritual concepts and the surrender of the participant to a power. Each step is a continuation of the next, they must be completed in order to be effective. When one begins they start with the first step, admitting they are powerless over their addiction or affliction. From there they go on through the following:

2)a power great than us can restore us, 3)we made a decision to turn our will and lives over to God as we understand him, 4) we made a fearless moral inventory, 5)we admitted to God and another our wrongdoings, 6)we’re entirely ready to have God remove these defects, 7)we asked God to remove them, 8)we made a list of all persons harmed, 9)we made direct amends with those we hurt, unless it would cause direct harm, 10) we continue to take personal inventory, and when we are wrong we admit it, 11)through prayer and meditation we come closer to God, 12)having been enlightened by these steps we are to carry this out to others. (Anonymous)

The yamas and niyamas are two parts of the eight limbs of yoga outlined by Patanjali in his Yoga Sutras. When one is on the yogic path these are observances and guidelines that yogi’s or yogini’s abide by. The yamas are known as moral disciplines. They are: ahimsa-non harming, satya-truth, asteya-non-stealing, brahmacharya-purity, and aparigraha-non covetedness/non hoarding/detachment. After that there are the niyamas, moral guidelines. They are: saucha-cleanliness, santosa-contentment, tapas-zeal/passion, svadhyaya-self study, and Isvara Pranidhana-dedication to the Lord through actions (Gates, 2002) (Iyengar, 1976).

As a person delves deeper into the meanings of both the 12 Steps and the first two limbs of yoga begin to notice the similarities. According to Kyczy Hwk, the 12 Steps, yamas, and niyamas provide ways to help with recovery from a variety of addictions with the 12 Steps being a more spiritual practice while the yamas and niyamas and yoga are more of a physical practice (Hawk).When a person on a recovery journey practice the yamas and niyamas they can better understand the Steps because they all have “a spiritual union with ones higher power” (Hawk). Some of the 12 Steps have more than one yama or niyama to go with it while some only have one. There are also some aspects of the first two limbs of yoga that are overarching concepts in the 12 Steps.

The first step has multiple niyamas that are related. Rolf Gates in his book, Meditations from the Mat, says it best, “We can count on the new and the unfamiliar to be awkward. But the awkwardness of that first step is no reason for us to deny ourselves the opportunity to have balance in a given area of our lives. We will have the degree of grace in our lives that we permit ourselves to have”   (Gates, 59). With that grace and the help of their higher power, the participant can then work on certain aspects of aparigraha and saucha. Aparigraha is “about the end of all attachment: letting go of our fears, letting go of our desires, becoming free” (Gates,67), which is an essence of Step 1. Saucha has similarities to Step 1 because of the crazy talk, insanity that is in his or her lives before that first step. Step 2 and 3 could also have some similarities with aparigraha and saucha as well because he or she is letting go of what doesn’t serve them, their addiction of dysfunction, to become free.

Step Four, making a fearless moral inventory, has similarities to asteya and the whole aspect of yoga. When the person on the recovery journey sits down to take their inventory they cover all wrongdoings and “defects of character” (Anonymous). This is something that is constantly done time and time again in the recovered life. Without taking regular inventory the recovered cannot stay recovered and progress in their life and spiritual walk with their higher power. When a yogi or yogini practices asteya they are paying “closer attention to what [they] do, and to put [their] faith in [their] ability to heal” (Gates,46) which is their version of making their own personal inventory.

Step 5 is all about admitting. He or she admits to God, themselves, and someone else (usually in AA it is a sponsor) all their wrongdoings and insight collected from their Step 4 inventory. Satya is the yama that has similarities to Step 5. As Rolf Gates puts clearly in Meditations from the Mat satya is “letting go of pretense and telling the truth about ourselves to another human being” (pg 31); Step 5 and satya is all about speaking truthfully and living that truth.

The next steps that are similar with one or two of the first limbs of yoga are Step 8 and 9. They are about making contact with people the individual has harmed and make direct amends with them. Here is another aspect of aparigraha at work because the individual is making a list of resentments and letting them go. Satya also makes another appearance here because satya is all about truth and the individual is speaking truth to those they have hurt.

After that comes Step 11 where the individual seeks conscious contact with God/higher power to help with their daily life and to better understand God through prayer and meditation. This has similarities to brahmacharya and self study. On the yogic path one practices brahmacharya or purity as a way to keep themselves close to God. In the 12 Steps the individual practices the same and keeps themselves pure by repentance, praying, and working to get their disease under control. As it is stated in Meditations from the Mat, “prayer enables us to tap into the healing power of the universe” (Gates, pg 52).

Lastly is Step 12, where he or she takes what she learns and shares it. In some 12 Step groups they will use the term spiritual awakening to showcase the life changing they undergo. Tapas and santosha are the two niyamas that work with Step 12. Tapas, or burning passion, relates to Step 12 because it is an “enthusiasm for health” (Gates) and it is all about inquiry. Being passionate to inquire about themselves which is the overarching idea of the 12 Steps; to be constantly evaluating your life, what the individual is doing in order to be the best person they can be in keeping the addiction or disease under control. As Gates states,

“Tapas is the spirit of inquiry; it is about having the heart of an explorer. It is the willingness to work hard in practice, the desire to know oneself, the will to be honest. But all of these virtues are predicted on a genuine desire for spiritual health. This desire will give us consistency. We will have good days and bad days, days when the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak, and days when the opposite is the case. Years of consistent practice are not built on rigid self-discipline; they are built on the desire to know more.” (Gates, 103)

Santosa is similar to Step 12 because santosa is an alternate way of approaching life, it is a different way to view life. The 12 Steps, just like the yamas and niyamas are about ways to approach different aspects of life, be it a recovered life or not.

In conclusion, there are many similarities between the 12 Steps and the yamas and niyamas of yoga. All three help individuals live a better life and give each individual a moral guidebook and road map to navigate life. With an understanding of the 12 Steps, yamas, and niyamas can help the individual on the road to recovery to better stay on that road and have a greater success rate and a lower chance of relapse.

 

Sources:

Light on Yoga, Iyengar

Meditations from the Mat, Rolf Gates

EDA 12 Steps

12steps.com

Yoga and the 12 Step Path, Hawk

When…

For those of us in recovery one always thinks about what it/a recovered life will look like when we are recovered. Are we ever recovered? There are some individuals who believe you can recover fully. Then there are others, like myself, who don’t believe in a full recovery. That you are never recovered, you still have the issues but you learn to handle them better. There will still be struggles with your mental health, addiction, eating disorder, but by following/working the 12 Steps, prayer/meditation, going to support groups, whatever your new strategy is you can manage your issue(s).

When I first embarked on the recovery journey I looked around for clues. For pictures. For ideas of when I would be recovered. I keep thinking, “How will I know I am recovered?”, “What does it look like?”. After working the 12 Steps and working with others I came to the conclusion that I will never be recovered, BUT, I can imagine my life without my eating disorder and exercise addiction.

Here is how I imagine/drew my life without Melvin….

In the book, Life Without Ed by Jenni Schafer (a must read!!!!!), her therapist Thom Rutledge has activities for those of us reading the book to help us separate from our ED. The one that really shaped my outlook on the recovered life is the activity on page 111 where Thom has the reader define our recovery. He writes, “It is important to be able to identify and describe something about what you want for yourself–if you intend to find it, that is. Can you define your recovery? Do you know what you have in mind when you think about recovering from your eating disorder? Not what your mother or father or brother or boyfriend or therapist or nutritionist think your recovery should be. Do you know what you want it to be?” (page 111). He gives the reader three categories to work out: spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically. Here is mine, a mix of what I wrote two years ago that still ring so true as I sit here and blog this:

Spiritually, I will be able to focus in church service on Jesus Christ and worshiping not what I am going to eat for lunch or dinner or tomorrow’s breakfast. I will be able to let myself go and open my heart to the spirit and not be reserved. 

Mentally, I will be able to be present in the moment and not check out.

Emotionally, I will be stable and control my emotions/stress/anxiety. I will have developed enough skills to avoid melting down, anger, and emotionally withdrawing from situations. * let us add to this: I will be more open and communicative with my husband and love him with patience*

Physically, I will not rely on birth control to have my periods and will have a healthy ratio of lean muscle to body fat. I will also not put worth on a number that is on a scale. *let us add to this: I will be happy with myself in a swim suit or tight clothing, and I will stop thinking my legs look like cottage cheese when I know that they have muscle*

Another way I shaped my life is defining my “sane life”. In Step 1 of the 12 Steps you admit powerlessness and insanity. Insanity being doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. One can also think of Step 1 as being out of control. It is in Step 2 that you are given the questions : “How do you define sanity? What would a sane life look like? Which eating disorder {insert your habit} behaviors, habits, and attitudes kept you from acting sanely in the past?”

Here is what I wrote in response to those questions on 10/26/2011 (and it still is true to this day)

My definition of a sanity is not me at this present moment. I want to be a happy, self acceptant, non-compulsive behavioral, non-ED individual. A sane life for me would be me married to my boyfriend *which I did!*, away from TN, I’m a successful dancer, healthy (mentally, physically, spiritually), looks good, happy, helping fellow dancers and people with ED’s. Most of all: NO MELVIN. So many ED behaviors have kept me from being sane. Always counting and measuring, always be concerned with calorie content, always looking at myself in reflective surfaces all the time. Never being confident at integral points in time, being perfect. 

I also like the following quotes that define recovery. I found them in some of older journals in the early days of my journey and I still find so much meaning in them:

“Recovery does not mean cure. Rather recovery is an attitude, a stance, and a way of approaching the day’s challenges. It is not a perfectly linear journey. There are times of rapid gains and disappointing relapses. There are times of just living, just staying quiet, resting and regrouping. Each person’s journey of recovery is unique. Each person must find what works for them. This means that we must have the opportunity to try and to fail and to try again.” Project HEAL

“Don’t be afraid to move out of your comfort zone. Some of your best life experiences and opportunities will transpire only after you dare to lose.” Anon

“Being recovered is when a person can accept his or her natural body size and shape and no longer has a self-destructive relationship with food or exercise. When you are recovered, food and weight take a proper perspective in your life, and what you weigh is not more important than who you are; in face, actual numbers are of little or no importance at all. When recovered, you will not compromise your health or betray your soul to look a certain way, wear a certain size, or reach a certain number on a scale. When you are recovered you do not use eating disorder behaviors to deal with, distract from, or cope with other problems.” Carolyn Costin

I look upon the words I journaled and the quotes from others and see that I still have a long way to go. But I am WAY closer to that sane life than I was when I started that journey a little over two years ago. In the words of my first therapist Dr. Smith, “Recovery is a marathon not a sprint.” Also, I will never be totally sane and perfect till I reach Heaven. But these goals/definitions give me hope and strength to wake up and work towards my defined life.

To those who read this and are in recovery I would like to know your goals/definition of your life without your ED etc…comment and share. We are all in this recovery journey together!

Peace and Namaste.

Brave

I really dig the song “Brave”by Sara Bareilles. It is not often that a positive, non people bashing, non-sexual, song plays on the airwaves anymore. I also enjoy the video. Bareilles uses a wide variety of people to dance in her video. They dance in public, in rooms, in a mall and they don’t care. They just dance.They are being brave. Dance is being used a physical representation of bravery. Each person has a different back story, just like you and me, and they are stepping out against it by dancing. Through song and dance they are gaining the strength to be brave about their situation.

The same goes for you and me. Throughout our life we will have moments, trials, situations where we are called to be brave.  We have to dance through them, climb that mountain, ride that train or jump over those hurdles. I haven’t been on the earth very long, but I have already had situations where I needed to be brave.

The first I think of is being brave against my eating disorder and exercise addiction. Having to admit that I am powerless, I am insane, I have  a problem (paraphrase of Step 1). Then making a conscious choice to recover and face ALL that comes with recovery. The torment, the relapses, the “I feel good about myself days”, the “I ate french fries and enjoyed it” days, days I want to crawl into the bed and just hide from the world and my self. The never ending battle against myself with help of MY higher power. Recovery is not for the faint of heart. It is for the brave. Bravery to become transparent. Bravery to choose a new way of life. Bravery to face those relapses and dig myself out of them. Bravery to eat more french fries. Bravery to call out to  my support group when I am having “fat days” or when I am tempted to starve.

Another moment of bravery I have been faced with is leaving a negative relationship. Instead of going back and back to the one who obviously doesn’t want to be with me,  I chose to step away and pick up the pieces of my broken self. Being brave to face the world without him and being brave to admit that “he wasn’t the one”, “if he really loved me he wouldn’t force me to for go a career or say demeaning things to me”.  It is not easy leaving a bad relationship, especially when they have you thinking that you are not worthy. Couple that with a mental illness (eating disorder), perfectionism, and you have one hot mess. When I decided to be brave, my friends and family helped me move on from one relationship. After months of prayer, being free and brave, The Lord, brought me who is now my future husband. Isn’t that a great reward for bravery?

These are just two examples in my life where I have had to be brave.

Now, I ask you, when have you had to be brave? Was it your walk with Christ? Was it an addiction? A relationship? Telling someone how you feel? Setting up boundaries? What was the outcome? A sense of pride or a reward? I wanna know. I wanna hear. Who knows, sharing your story might give someone else the courage to be brave.